Self-care is more than just retail therapy

Self-care is more than just retail therapy.

Self-care is more than just lighting a candle next to a bubblebath.

Self-care is more than cuddling up with a relaxing cup of coffee and a netflix binge,

but it’s a good place to start…

Today i’m facing something that I haven’t faced in years. something that absolutely terrifies me. The dentist. This didn’t used to terrify me, in fact I used to have a very good relationship with my old dentist, a relationship built over 24 years, and I think that’s why i’m having such trouble now admitting I need to find a new one. It’s been about 3 years now since I actually went to a dentist. This is because once my family dentist retired he was replaced by a someone who caused my mother a lot of pain and money with costly mistakes and bad dental work. Due to this it’s taken me too long to finally admit to myself I can no longer pass this off, in fact had I visited a dentist sooner rather than being scared, I probably could have saved more pain and a worse outcome in the end. Irony.

I have to have 2 teeth removed, my back wisdom tooth which has broken in half, I am not bothered about this removal, my other one, I am. I feel having a tooth out in the middle of a set will make me ugly even though my mother is convincing me that no one will see it as it is at the back. I know i’m being materialistic here, but i’ve always prided myself on my teeth, I brush regularly, don’t eat sweets or fizzy drinks. But these things happen, therefore having bubblebaths, buying clothes etc isn’t the kind of self care that I need. Being an adult means self care is making hard decisions, had I gone to a dentist earlier I could have potentially saved this tooth, and in the long run that kind of self-care is more beneficial to cheap thrills of happiness and a lighter wallet.

In retrospect I realise i’ve missed plenty of opportunity. Opportunity to travel, to work, opportunity to look after myself in a better way and be content with my lifestyle choices. This is because I was scared and didn’t know that making a sequence of small tough decisions lead to overall happiness in the end. I’m still scared, albeit a small percentage of what I was, and this has given me the confidence boost that i’ve needed to really go out there and become who I should be. I now visit the doctor when I need to, admitting not everything can be cured with a lemon and honey tea, I make phone calls which for years absolutely petrified me, and i’m going to the dentist today alone and afraid. But its something I am going to do, something I have to come to terms with.

Even though the title of this is about retail therapy and me talking about how it is not self love and self help, I have in fact been out this morning and spent an insane amount of money on clothes, makeup and games. Partly I do need this, the colder months are coming and I am not prepared for them and my wardrobe needs a very good revamp. I also treat myself to  some beauty buys, biotin and a game I’ve wanted to play for a long time.

This veiled happiness will only last a short time though, true happiness isn’t within the clothes that I buy. Once they’re packed away and I don’t see those shopping bags filled to the brim with treats and goodies i’ll realise that its just another thing that I possess. But on the other hand when you are in new clothes, you do your makeup well and you walk with a new set of confidence it emanates from you and you become more positive, in turn rewarding yourself with a passive type of self-love.

I wanted to get myself some treats for tonight so I can go home, cuddle up with a good book, play some games, light some candles, get into some fresh new pyjamas and cuddle up with my cats. Although retail therapy isn’t the key to self-love, and throwing away money won’t make you feel better, if you adapt the right attitude, it can be a good help.