Good people make bad decisions.

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, and you have no way of getting past it without hurting someone along the way.

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When you are in a relationship you naturally come to take on different personality traits to compensate, you may skip a night out because your partner has had a long day at work, you may choose to watch a drama even though you want to watch a comedy. Even the littlest things take away from who you are as a person and sometimes that’s OK. But sometimes it’s not.

This year shone a light on the fact my life isn’t anywhere where I want it to be, I don’t have anyone to blame for that, but it is me, and only me, that will be able to change it.

Turns out I went on a few dates with 2 people that happen to be friends, and that sucks. I was pretty blunt about the fact I didn’t want to rush into anything and was very non-committal. It’s not that I was just dating anyone who asked, it just happened to be a very awkward situation that I never expected myself to be in. I feel like things were pretty casual but somehow we were all rushed into making a decision on how we move forward, and for people who have only been on 2 or 3 dates it really isn’t enough to be making any kind of decision for someone who spends 10 minutes looking at a menu deciding if they want fajitas or a salad.

The problem is i’m not necessarily in any kind of position to be making ‘demands’ or saying I want to continue with both to see where it goes because I would feel the exact same if someone was dating one of my friends too, and honestly a part of me was ready to just walk away from this so there was no bad blood between them, but I also don’t think I intentionally did anything wrong. Good people make bad decisions.

I made a decision, and that’s that. Life sucks sometimes, but also there’s so many good people in the world and as cliché as it sounds everyone in this situation deserves to be happy. I’ll be disappointed if I loose a friend here, but I also understand if I do, and that’s just something I’ll have to deal with.

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